Gift To Yourself- The Gift of Forgiveness

Christmas Greetings From Claire Boyles
Christmas Greetings From Claire Boyles

As many of you may have heard me mention from time to time, I'm writing a book- 365 ways to change your life.  I came to my tropical paradise island to take time for writing, and a few days ago I wrote a particular piece on forgiveness for my book.  I wanted to get some feedback so I tweeted looking for volunteers & I also asked on facebook.  I was overwhelmed with the positive responses I received & I realised that this little exercise might prove to be a nice little gift to send at Christmas.


So here it is; Merry Christmas: 

At the end of the day... write a Forgiveness list


Forgiveness is one of the vital foundations of healing, growing and evolving.  Without forgiveness we carry pain and anger in our hearts.  It may only be a little pain, or a little anger, maybe even a little shame- but it’s there.  It remains as memories in the cells of our bodies, trapped negative energy affecting the vibration of our cells.  Ayurveda describes “Ama” as a sticky toxic substance that exists inside our cells- built up over time from poor eating habits, lack of exercise of the body/soul, from toxic emotions, often if you have a build up of ama in your body you will wake in the morning with a white covering on your tongue.  This is the physical manifestation of holding onto negative emotions- you can literally see it and taste it, it clogs the cells and limits their ability to function as they were designed to do, it is a creates a breeding ground for disease and infection.  Forgiveness releases our hold on the negative emotions, it releases the stickiness and allows the body mind and spirit to repair the damage caused- forgiveness allows the body mind and soul to heal. 

Are you ready to forgive?   Are you ready to be ready to forgive?


Forgiving other people does not absolve them of their wrong doing- the law of attraction (like attracts like) and Karma mean that no wrong doing will be without consequences, even though it may seem like it in the moment.  Forgiving other people releases you from carrying the burden, it allows you to heal and become more and more connected to the natural state of balance that you have a right to be in.  A balanced place where love can fill your heart, and joy fill your life. 


At the end of the day, an hour or so before you’re ready to sleep get out your journal and pen, or laptop, sit in a quiet place (It’s a good idea to have a particular place for journal writing where you feel comfortable and can be without disturbance) and think about things that you’ve done that day, or any day previously that were less than 100%, less than perfect.   Start writing, beginning each line with the words “I forgive myself for…….”  Keep writing until you’ve exhausted all the memories that are present to you at this time.   Some of the things I’ve written on my list are tiny, many people would not even notice them as shortcomings- things like starting my yoga routine 5 mins late for example- but for me this is a lack of respect I’ve shown for my own goals.  Other things that have come to mind when writing are things from a long time ago, things that I still carry.  Many times these things reappear on my list and this is an opportunity to forgive myself at an even deeper level.


When you’ve done “I forgive myself for….” Start on “I forgive ……………. For...” Anyone who you’ve ever felt harmed you in any way, large or small.


The first time you do this exercise you might find there is a lot to write about, or your might find that there is little to write about but as you make this a part of your daily routine you will notice the lightness in your heart, your happiness levels increasing.  You may even find that you are grateful for the life events that brought you these moments of forgiveness and understanding.


This exercise is extremely powerful and can be revisited time and time again.  Doing it at the end of the day is a very useful way of wiping the slate clean so that your mind can rest and let go and you can enjoy a deep and restful sleep.


Enjoy integrating a forgiveness list into your daily habits, and you will reap many rewards not least of which is bringing more joy and peace to those around you.


Do let me know if you experience any insights or breakthroughs from doing this exercise- I know from the feedback that I've received already it can create powerful positive changes & I look forward to hearing about yours.


If you want more information you can always contact me, I'm happy to help.


If you want to book a coaching session to really bring your life forward to where you want to be, you can book here

Write a comment

Comments: 6
  • #1

    Mik The Who (Saturday, 26 December 2009 04:23)

    Great Stuff Claire Wishing you the best choices in the new year action over worry I can do it over I can't do it optimism over pessimism will over won't keep on rockin MTW

  • #2

    Claire Boyles (Thursday, 28 January 2010 13:40)

    Hi Mik

    thanks hope you enjoyed doing this :)

    A positive mindset will make finding solutionis easier!


  • #3

    Nat (Wednesday, 02 November 2011 06:40)

    I love this exercise!! I've done it 3 times now; it's nothing short of brilliant! The first time I wasnt too sure what I was expecting, maybe some superficial forgiveness for the small things. But, I'm amazed at the things I've managed to forgive myself for and am slowly working towards forgiving someone else for something they've done (but that will take ALOT of work!)...taking baby steps for now!! :) But even saying that I'm working towards forgiving this person, is a HUGE breakthrough in itself. Before this, I had never even considered forgiving them for what they've done to me and so even though getting to the point of thinking about working on it may sound kinda small and insignificant, to me, it's pretty big.

    The first couple of times I did it at night I found it easier to sleep too...maybe because I cleared all the things from my mind and forgave myself for things that had been playing on my mind.

    Thanks for writing the post...and for sharing it on Twitter. Good luck with it!! :)
    Nat x

  • #4

    Claire Boyles LifeMatters (Sunday, 06 November 2011 02:52)

    Hi Nat,

    Thank you so much for sharing with us your experiences. I am so happy that it has been so positive for you. I haven't used this exercise in a while, and you've inspired me to do it again, which has been great for clearing up those emotions that were hanging around. Forgiving myself is so powerful, and gives me the ability to forgive others too. Which is even better for me, because I'm no longer carrying the hurt :)

    Thank you so much


  • #5

    Simon Jordan (Sunday, 13 November 2011 16:35)

    Brilliant Claire.
    I came from a troubled childhood. One of abuse and hurt but I realised after many years of anger and hatred that it was damaging me so I forgave those that hurt me and angered me. Hate is a cancer and anger leads to more anger.
    Love is truly the cure all.
    Thank you Claire. X

  • #6

    Claire Boyles LifeMatters (Monday, 14 November 2011 02:17)

    you are so right Simon, often people think "They don't deserve forgiveness".. but forgiveness is about letting go of the hurt, hate & anger that destroys us if we hold onto it!

    So glad you enjoyed the exercise :)